Carson.e+The+New+Kid

It was over already, the summer holidays were over and for once I wasn’t worried about going back to school, because this year was going to be different, I knew it. This year was different because we had just moved house, mum and dad were sick of the old neighbourhood and to be honest I was sick of my primary school and all my “friends”. You see my whole life I grew up being one of the ”nobodies”, I was picked on for as long as I could remember, day in, day out until it drove me over the edge. I was grown up now; I was moving on to high school, new neighbourhood, new friends, and a new life. So today’s my first day at high school, a lot of nervous faces walked the hallways, Including mine but to my own surprise I wasn’t worried at all about what the others would think of me, at all. My form class was great, I got placed next to Kiara and Harry, the most popular kids in the school, we absolutely hit it off, within the first 15 minutes I was invited to sit at lunch with them, and I couldn’t believe it. Lunch was great we all sat around talking and talking, not one bad word was said to me, at all! It was the best day of my life; literally I really couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning, just to see all the faces of my real friends once again. It was only my second day at school, the air felt fresher here, smiles overran the hallways; people knew my name, acknowledged me, and showered me with smiles, greetings and handshakes. For once I was “in” one of the popular kids. Today’s lunchtime was slightly different from the rest, we didn’t sit at the bench, no, today was very different. We walked around the playground, the group of us, about 20 or so walked around exerting our power over the playground. We picked on the smaller kids, the different kids, the bigger kids just everyone for every reason, for their equipment, their money, their help in the next test, and the kids like me. These kids that were getting picked on, they were me, they were who I used to be in primary school, it had seemed as though I had become the same person I grew to hate, the same person that made my life hell, and the same person that made me move all the way here to Cranbrook. That night was different, I couldn’t sleep... But it wasn’t the same as not being able to sleep in primary school, I couldn’t sleep because I felt guilty, was this my conscience? I could become a reason for a whole family to pack up and move away, to have to start their lives again, to have to lose all their friends and just because of me. I went to school the next day and I sat with the group again, today after lunchtime of patrolling the yard doing their thing we returned to our bench and began to talk, as if completely ignoring the fact of what we had been doing all of lunchtime. It was as if the group had no idea at all of the emotional stress that we were putting these kids through. I decided that ultimately it was up to me to do something about it, I thought I was accepted and respected enough in the group to maybe make a difference, to stand up for what I believe was right. After 2 minutes of quite stuttering I began to talk in an assertive tone that was louder than that of all the individual conversations being shot back and forth along the table, there was a silence at the table, everyone stopped and listened to me. I didn’t bring up my past but I told them about the pain these kids must be going through, the stresses not only they would be feeling but also the families would go through. When I had finished my speech there was nothing said for seconds, although it did feel like minutes, every just seemed to stare at me until what I had just said registered in their heads. As if in unison at the same time they all burst out in a stronger laughter, tapping me on the back as if I had just made there day and continuing on with their talks, not thinking twice about what I’d said. I had a big decision to make, and I had only been at this school for one short week. I had to decide whether to leave the group, to give up being popular for what was right, and it felt good thinking that way, but then there was the decision to stay popular and keep picking on others to save myself. I really didn’t know what to do. The day came and in form I sat up the front by myself. Kiara called out for me to come out the back and I pretended as though I didn’t hear her. I didn’t want to be seen sitting with anyone else at lunch, and I didn’t know anyone else except for the kids I’d bullied, so I spent the lunchtime sitting in the library. That night I felt good, cleansed. The next morning I walked through the hallways and I noticed the greeting and handshakes minimised. I walked like a ghost, even Harry passed me without even noticing. I felt forgotten overnight. It was my worst nightmare, my primary school ways were coming back and I hated it. It may have been the worst decision I’d probably ever make, but I couldn’t take it any longer. I went and sat with my friends at lunchtime, we walked around picking on the rest of my school, but the way I saw it, at least it wasn’t me. By Carson Evans